The Ladies Out Back Turned Me Into a Hoarder

Two baskets of the hoard. The rest chilling in the fridge.

“heres the deal,” I texted, “1 dozen for 1 roll. make sure its whole.”

A dozen eggs for a roll of toilet paper: a fair exchange in these times, I thought.

“delivr is prob,” came the reply. Yes, it is, I agreed.

I had imagined a furtive exchange at an isolated location, with the actors peering at each other from afar to keep up the…